whisking away!
I started this blog almost a year ago (gasp!).
The goals of my posts were to:
- Feature healthy foods that my kids eat and love
- Show and discuss how children can be involved in cooking
I think I’ve been pretty successful with the first goal, but the second goal…well…
At the time I started this blog, my children were 4 1/2 and 1 1/2. My kids have always been in the kitchen with me. Since birth, I have either worn them (in a safe manner) while preparing food, or had them sit in their infant seat or bouncer on the kitchen floor while I talked about what I was doing. As they grew, they were always welcome in the kitchen. When they were old enough (I think this varies by child based on personality), I would let them do things such as stir dry or wet ingredients when baking, mix ingredients in a bowl, and of course watch as much or as little as they wanted to.
crinkle cut carrots
They have seen me happily explaining every little thing I’m doing. I’ve given them ingredient samples and encouraged them to smell everything from citrus to spices.
They’ve also seen me running around like a madwoman making sure something doesn’t burn, juggling the many dishes in a meal, all while my toddler is screaming that something was taken from him or that he wants to do everything I’m doing.
What I’ve realized in this journey, is that they see the latter more than the former.
Yeah. I can be a little nutso in the kitchen.
Why? Because cooking with kids is hard – darn hard.
It’s the sauce simmering or boiling? Are the veggies roasting turning black? Another dirty diaper to change right now!? Oh, no, the pasta is overcooked and mushy!
As I mentioned, from the birth of my kids I cooked dinner from scratch (with no “help”). Cooking for my family is something I must do. I remember one day when my son was not yet one year old, a family member was here while I was cooking dinner. My son was at my leg while I was about to open the oven. The family member was a little nervous and asked my son to leave the kitchen. My response to the situation was that we all learned to safely cook while the kids were in the kitchen because, if not, there would never be any dinner!
shake shake shake the salad dressing
Delicious food is one of the ways I tell my family that I love them. I won’t give this up easily to someone else. The structure of our day requires that I make dinner and have it ready when my husband comes home from work. Before all the feminists’ mouths drop open, I do choose to live my life this way. And, by having dinner ready as soon as my husband comes home, it gives me time after dinner to be alone (which I need!) while Dad and the kids play before bath and bedtime. So, for us, everyone benefits – even if I’ve given myself a few more gray hairs in the process!
helping Dad make seitan
So, here we are almost a year later. My kids are 6 and almost 3. And, here’s what I’ve learned.
1. It’s still really important to cook for your family and with your kids. I guess this goes without saying, but even though it’s hard, it’s worth it.
2. It’s not always realistic to have your kids cooking next to you, if you’ve got a dinner time deadline. Some days cooking dinner is at a very relaxed pace. Sometimes it’s hectic. We’ve all got busy lives and living life (playdates, outdoor time, activities, work, etc.) is important. When I’m rushed to get dinner on the table, I prefer to take the reigns and cook myself.
3. On days when I just need some space to get things done in the kitchen, I do not feel bad anymore finding something to occupy the kids. They can work with play dough at the table, do puzzles, listen to audio books or even watch something on Netflix!
4. It’s OK for kids to watch from a distance. We have two barstools. I think there is value in them watching me coordinate cooking multiple dishes, which is a lost art (not that I have it mastered!).
Valentine’s Day cookies
5. When the time is right, they can work with me hands-on in the kitchen. At any time, they can taste test what I’m making, but I also like to make sure we do special things around holidays or special occasions that they are involved in. For Valentine’s Day we made heart cookies (really delicious, by the way) and my son helped by cutting the cookies out with the cookie cutter. In the coming weeks, we will bake Irish Soda Bread for St. Patrick’s Day.
making veggie sushi with Dad
6. Encourage cooking with other family members. My husband loves to cook, is very creative and good at it. But, since he’s got a busy schedule during the week, he usually just cooks on the weekend. When he does, it’s something really neat like homemade pizza dough or soft pretzels, seitan, or most recently sushi. Usually his cooking is more of a relaxed project, so the kids work with him at various times throughout the process.
7. Simplify, simplify, simplify. The easier a recipe, the less stressful dinner time will be. I rely on a lot of one-pot meals, baked “casseroles”, and stir fries. I have tried to get comfortable with a handful of recipes, so I can prepare them without too much thought.
One thing I wish I had bought when my daughter was little was a Learning Tower, which is a safe, contained way to have your kids watch closely or work alongside the cook in the kitchen. That may have helped make things a little easier!
These are just my thoughts. I’ve learned a lot in the past six years, especially that I have a lot of skill-building to do as a parent such as more patience, taking deep breaths, and realizing that it’s OK for dinner to be a little late!
What has been your experience cooking while parenting young children? What tips can you share to help me and all our readers?
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Nice article Jen! Jillian loves to cook with me and although it can make things take twice as long some times, I too feel it is important. She love stirring and mashing things. She also loves smelling the spices I use. I hope her love of cooking continues once she actually can really help!
Thanks, Anne! You are right – it extends the time to do anything and sometimes that puts me over the edge, probably because I spend so much time in the kitchen as it is. I know Jillian will be a great little helper! It may get a little more complicated once baby boy enters the picture. 🙂 But, oh, to see those faces light up when they smell something new is so worth everything.
I have just recently found your blog thru Heather’s Whole Food Kitchen class or was it FIMBY? Anywho—LOVE IT. I will be perusing your older posts on my journey to cook healthier for me and my family. Thanks!!
Welcome Beth! I do recognize your name, but I don’t remember from where. I owe a lot of thanks to Renee for linking to my blog on FIMBY, so that may be where you heard of me. Thanks for taking the time to stop by and say hi!
One way I like to involve my kids in the process is by taking them grocery shopping with me, one-on-one, and allowing them to help and make healthy snack choices…or if they can’t come then ask them if there is something in particular I can buy them. They know this doesn’t mean ice cream 🙂 (although they ask for less healthy treats on occasion which is ok too). I didn’t push hard to get the kids involved when they were really young…just enouraged it little by little as they got older and expressed interest. By 10 (I think) my middle daughter could bake independently but my 15 year old son still can’t. Nor does he have any interest. I think learning to relax is good – and choosing to take a longer view of it all.
Oh, I like that you go shopping one-on-one. Both of my kids go with me all the time because we shop midweek in the morning when it’s less crowded. There have been a lot of benefits to them seeing what I buy and I also explain why.
I think my kids would take over the kitchen if I’d let them. They really want to do it all, and sometimes I worry that I’m not as encouraging as I could be. Relaxing is key, and I’m not so good at it…yet. Thanks for sharing your perspective, Kika.
Wanted to add something: I’ve realized that cooking with kids of all ages can be stretching. My 12 year old – I mentioned that she is an independent baker – but she is also right-brained/creative & messy. When I work in the kitchen I take short-cuts to keep things as quick, tidy and simple as possible. She is the exact opposite! What begins as simply whipping up two dozen muffins becomes a multi-hour process, involving every kitchen surface we have. She decides to cut out squares of parchment paper to line the muffins then decides that in addition to regular sized tins she wants to make cute little mini muffins, etc. Honestly. It is just like
the books, “If You Give a Moose a Muffin…”. I just have to stay out of the kitchen when she’s doin’ her thing 🙂
This is a great post Jennifer. Really good. My own kids are involved to varying degrees and to different extents in different seasons. End of the day clean up corresponds with supper prep so they are engaged in that usually.
Brienne shows the most interest in cooking.
Thanks, Renee! I remember seeing a picture of you cooking with your young kids recently. Now, you looked relaxed (or at least for the picture)!
While I love to do it, I think there are times that I feel overwhelmed by the amount of time I spend cooking, then to stop and have to clean up bigger messes from the kids is too much to handle.
I know it will get easier. It’s nice to see how your family collaborates on meals! We’ll get there, too, someday.
I’m coming away from reading this with such a feeling of:
“Jennifer is such a good mother.”
You care for your children and it shows. You are doing good. You are doing all the right things. You try so hard. And one day you will see the fruits of all your efforts, sacrifice, concern, and diligence.
(Yes, all of these things are true, my friend.)
Thanks for all the kind words you’ve left me lately. Like always.
I’m so glad you’ve come into my life this year.
Emily, I’ve had a rough day today. Lots of tears. Your message touched me so much. I question my choices every day, so thank you for this. Lots of love to you.
The worst part for me is that I have a very small kitchen and limited counter space!! If I had room the cooking, baking, etc. would be much easier to do with my kids…they still help it is just crowded!!! LOL
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wow! super!